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All donuts are not equal.

January 19th, 2009

Bakers Dozen is booming in spite of only offering up mediocre fat pills. Sunday was quite the adventure in donut land. We were witnesses of donut discrimination.

Evidently filled donuts are not valid donuts unless they are a part of the full dozen. Sorry Mr. Boston Creme, you are not on the valid donut list. As a customer apparently I am not allowed to purchase half a dozen unless the donuts I choose are of the true and valid variety. Sorry Mrs. Jelly Filled. The penalties for not complying with our donut discrimination clause will be:

  1. We will remove your right to purchase half a dozen for the half a dozen price.

  2. We will add a minimum 10 cent penalty fee per filled donut solely at our discretion.

  3. Your donuts will be processed individually or not at all.

We only trust the safe and normal donuts. We reserve the right to not inform you of these policies. Whatever happened to transparent pricing?

Update: The menu problems are fixed by removing most of the menu. What remains informs us that we will be fined if we want to purchase more bagels. One bagel .89 cents. Six bagels = 4.99. OUCH! Same price as 14 Safeway bagels. (Safeways are tastier.) Here is where the math gets interesting: Dozen bagels = 10.99. And no, you are not allowed to buy two sets of six. “How dare you buy more from us. That will be one dollar of penalty.”
p.s. no refills on the coffee. What does this look like? A donut shop?”

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